And I Had A Bad Day ...

The little boy jumps his own shadow. Then he tries to run from it. Next, he chases it.

Finally, he turns around and smiles at me. A sweet end to a rough day.

Tuesday was utterly bad for me. The day began with this totally uncalled for email from our head of department to the research manager in response to his suggestion that we should relook at certain project objectives to realign some changes which have happened recently. A sincere recommendation met with malicious backlash.

We had a long talk on Monday. He was already at the point of snapping. But he was also totally unsure which path he should take - go or stay. He's a foreigner so that means a lot of complications for his residency status if he walks out of this job and fails to find another before his social visit pass expires. He cannot afford this with his whole family depending on his salary. So when we parted, he was more for a wait-and-see approach, even in spite of his wife's advice to quit because it is obvious he is in immense work-induced agony.

On Tue morning, he told me he had typed his resignation letter the previous evening but was still hesitating until he opened his mailbox and found that email. That was it. No further consideration. He tendered.

I was flabbergasted. I'm afraid for the multi-country research and filming mega project that has been tossed onto my lap, to be handled by me single-handedly. Gosh, how many parts can I split myself? Am I next in line to be royally screwed?

I'm not sure how to take this. It seems like a great opportunity to prove what I can do (and great on the resume too). For now, she seems fully confident of my ability and our relationship has been placid so far. My only fear is that there were people between me and her who were getting screwed and once they are removed (like R will soon be), the missile will have a clear line of fire towards me. Guess I should just do my job dutifully for now, complete the project and then take flight to dodge the missile.

R's departure is definitely a loss to the company. To the department and all of us who could have learned so much from him had he been given the chance to perform the tasks that his job description had prescribed for him but never enforced. He's definitely capable but alas, it goes unappreciated by the people at the helm of the organisation.

Worse, he's not the first. There was a fabulous editor whom our previous manager coaxed from a renowned magazine. He left 2 months after being screwed (I try not to use this word but there doesn't seem to be an equivalent in the vocabulary) real bad by the same people. A fine lady psychologist left 4 months into the job, citing differences with the same people, among other things (although we have no doubt the former played the biggest part).

This must not be a good for where this corporate ship is headed. Maybe it is really time for me to jump ship. Funny, even LG who had been so determined that he would stay for at least a year confided during lunch that he's extremely fatigued and contemplating the 'q' word.

Apparently, the brewing problem has not gone un-noticed. The GM spoke to a few of us to gather feedback on 2 'problematic' persons within the department. One is our head, the other the project scheduler, both very inflexible personalities that have caused crossfire. Seems like there's a consensus from the info that GM has gathered. He mentioned he would discuss the problem with big boss and improve the morale of the team. Sigh ... I wonder if I can stand to wait and see if things would finally change for the better ...

Luckily, aside from 'Peter Pan' whom I met on the way home, I had a good time watching "Before We Fall In Love Again" by Malaysian director James Lee. One of the Executive Producers is Yasmin Ahmad, my film-making hero :)



This is the first part of a trilogy, screened free at the Goethe Institute. The second part, "Things We Do When We Fall In Love", is on the film fest's main programme.

Although I found the actions a tad too slow, the story developed at a steady pace with interesting, hilarious and suspenseful twists. It's wonderful, the way the film-maker captures little nuances that mean nothing to the average person, magnify them with the camera lens and voila, you suddenly realise just how funny you've never looked at things this way and you laugh and you laugh and you laugh ...

Like the scene at the travel agency. Those airline standees are so common; they are often found in several places at travel agencies - behind the counter or in front, outside or inside the main door, in the waiting area. But when you put them all next to each other, with a couple of courteous agents also in that genteel pose behind the counter (because courtesy rules in the service industry), it is an image so bone-tickling that the entire room erupts in laughter.

Today was peaceful. It's good to see a more relaxed version of R. The past few weeks, his brows were always knitted in a frown. I'm happy for him. Hope I'll be able to say so much for myself soon. Very soon.